As I get somewhat older, significantly less smart, and considerably more wise, I am seeing criticism much differently.
When someone comes at me with their anger about my incompetence, heresy or foolishness, I have begun to see fear instead of rage. It's not so much anger that I am wrong- but fear that they are.
This creates a nicer scenario for debate and meaningful interaction. My goal becomes relieving their fears, instead of fighting their anger - replacing their nagging feeling that they might be wrong with the discontentment that everyone probably is.
Especially me.
~~~~
Tim Bailey
6 comments:
fascinating perspective!
... yup, so much 'backlash' or 'you're wrong' comes from fear, and hurt. Often fear is of change, like you said ... "we've been wrong all these years?" and I've found when a reaction is over-the-top it may be coming from hurt.
... was watching 'Runaway Jury' the other night and Dustin Hoffman's old country lawyer character finally stops Rachel Wiess' character with the question ... "who hurt you Marlee? who hurt you this badly?" ...
... 'hurting people hurt people' ... the question is, how to come alongside them? properly, patiently, pastorally? not easy.
dlc
Your perspective leaves no room for passionate criticism that's driven by a sense of God's reputation, justice or righteous indignation. In the face of stubborn rebellion or cocky foolishness sometimes a vehement (fearless) correction is in order.
Lots of room for passionate criticism, just not for arrogance. I don't think God needs me to worry about his reputation and I certainly don't want justice. I need mercy instead. I'll fight injustice, but fighting for justice just indicts me...
Please don't comment anonymously, people.
Why have an anonymous category to the sign up then?
Yes, what's the big deal with writing anonymously if you provide such an option? A little smug are we?
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